Yesterday in our very first blog post here, I introduced a little bit about why I wanted to start this blog. What I didn’t tell you is why I would call myself SO NOT TOGETHER!

For the last 15 years of my life I have worked in an industry where the perception of perfection wasn’t just normal it was EXPECTED. The wedding industry is not the place where you show a half wilted flower or a table that isn’t set to specific requirements. Because if you did, you were lazy, unprofessional, and uneducated. Now- don’t get me wrong, I think people should give their best effort to everything they do- please set the table correctly. But what has happened as a society is that we have forgotten that there’s a PROCESS TO PERFECTION. That there’s a disaster before the photo shoot (or more likely just outside of the shot). Somehow we’ve taken the perfection persona that Instagram and Pinterest require of us and applied it to real life. We take on this responsibility to make our house and life look like the perfectly curated images we see. We read other bloggers who seemingly have endless amounts of time, energy, and financial resources to slap themselves together into this perfectly photogenic creature when I can hardly drag myself to the shower sometimes.

If you looked at my Facebook page you would think everything I touched turned to GOLD. I can set a mean table, decorate a gorgeous Christmas tree, my kids are cute, and my husband rocks. And that’s just the last couple weeks. But what you didn’t know is that major junk was happening on the backside of life. This is the stuff I haven’t shown anyone. You don’t know I can’t seem to get a single load of laundry into the washing machine, out of the dryer, and into the drawers. You don’t know I’m struggling to want to get dressed everyday. You don’t know that I’m failing in my weight loss journey, or that I just about lost my best friend in the whole world. We live in a world where LYING BY OMISSION about the backside of life is easier than telling the truth. The truth is an exposure…. if I don’t look like I have it together people will think I’m a MESS! Well guess what??? We’re all a MESS! We’re all trying to make it one day at a time. Why can’t we talk about it? Why can’t we laugh at ourselves more often?

WHY DO WE THINK THAT PINTEREST IS OUR MARKER FOR PERSONAL SUCCESS? 

I recently made some cupcakes for my daughters birthday. She’s one of those kids that only feels special when you go the extra mile…. and when you don’t she gets offended and hurt. It was late. I had worked all day. I honestly didn’t have time to even THINK about baking anything. Nor did I even know if we had the stuff for it. It’s 9:00 pm and I really just wanted the children to go to bed and leave me alone… but NO. I got out the stuff we needed to bake some cupcakes. I thought I’d be cool and put two colors in one tin… cause I’d seen that on Pinterest. Well you can see for yourself that was not such a great idea. Or at least not in the way I did it.

It was too late to care that this was a total failure on my part. I also didn’t have any other cake mix to make more. So I lied to my kid. I told her… “Oh these are called cloud cakes…. I saw them on Pinterest.” She knew, I knew. But she happily iced them and tried to make the best of it. The really interesting part of this story comes when I shared my failure on social media and with my co-workers. See I was expecting people to laugh WITH me. I was looking for a NICE ONE SMALLS. But what I found is that people were not comfortable talking about it. They didn’t want to offend? Or they weren’t capable of laughing about it… only judging. Because, HOW HARD IS IT TO MAKE CUPCAKES?

It was in that moment that I knew I needed to be OK with failure. To laugh at the fluffy cupcakes life brings me. I mean I could have freaked out, trashed them, gone to the store, and re-baked the perfect looking cupcakes for my kids school friends. But would it have changed the experience the kids in her class had for her birthday?… not substantially.

When we recognize that really it’s OK to not have it together ALL THE TIME, then we create the space in our lives for great failures and great successes. And great days and bad days. When we have space in our life and can freely talk about our failure we also become more tangible and real to the people around us.

REAL PEOPLE LEAD TO REAL RELATIONSHIP. REAL RELATIONSHIPS LEAD TO REAL LOVE. REAL LOVE IS ALL WE NEED. 

Yep that was totally quotable… Get on it meme making friends!

So as much as I challenge myself- I challenge you. Be real today! Let your failures sink in. Let go of the idea that you have to follow that Pinterest meme about drinking so much water or not wearing white after a certain date. Don’t spend 20 minutes trying to get the perfect shot of your morning coffee to post on social media. Breathe yourself in. Accept who you are. I’m working on it too.

BE COURAGEOUSLY FLAWED!

That’s what I am. And that’s why I’m So Not Together!

#sonotogether

Engage with me by posting a picture of your biggest failure or today’s most frustrating ugh!