It was the mid 90’s and Abercrombie & Fitch was the be all, end all of fashion!

I was smack dab in the middle of high school when my classmates started wearing these white long sleeved shirts with giant letters spelling out Abercrombie down the arm. Now, my parents were in ministry at a church and we didn’t have the same kind of additional income some of my classmates grew up with. And on top of that! I was FAT! That meant I couldn’t have shopped at Abercrombie even if I wanted to. Some kind of alarm might have gone off when I entered… weep weep Fat Girl In The Store! But I really hated those shirts. In today’s fashion they’re pretty mild but back in turtleneck land of the 90’s they were pretty brazen to blow the their logo like that. It was like yelling loudly! Hey I have the money to buy this shirt right now because it’s cool! My shirt makes me cool! Oh you don’t have this shirt? You’re not as cool as me.

I always told my close friends I was going to get some iron on transfers and write WALMART down the side of my own shirt and see what people said! I never did. Why? Because I was like everyone else in high school. I wanted to fit in. This particular trend or at least the supposed take away from the shirt has faded into the branding game of America but you get the point. I didn’t want to be part of a trend, I didn’t have to be the cool kid with the expensive shirt. Following that trend didn’t make me a better singer, a kinder person, or cooler than my weird self was going to be. I would have just been a normal girl in an expensive shirt.

We experience trends in all parts of our daily lives.

Fashion of course is a huge driver for the kind of clothes we think we should wear. I mean we no longer peg our jeans, tease our hair, tie our shirts, do we? But we wear jeggings? Who knew! But trends exist in everything we encounter.

Can you find an aisle in the grocery store that doesn’t have a bunch of boxes that have giant tags that say GLUTEN-FREE. A few years ago they said fat free and before that it was low calorie! I’m waiting for the day they just say BACON!

Or what about the health trends? Run everyday… wait don’t run that will hurt you. Walk, walk instead. Take these supplements… wait no… take these supplements instead. Don’t drink wine or eat chocolate. (Pshht…. yeah right) Wait… wine and chocolate are good for you in moderation.

What about home trends? Let’s paint our antique 1880’s dresser bright yellow! Or should I use chalk paint? How about we put as much white with feminine touches into our homes as possible. And you don’t have a family command center. Well you are SO NOT an organized mom!

How about we talk about the wedding and event industry! Like how the company BALL is suddenly reaping a huge profit from people thinking Ball Jars are now vases! Stores can’t keep burlap on the shelves and if it was old… it’s new again.

We use, reuse, wash, rinse, repeat these trends until they are flatter than a pancake… a specially drawn colorful character shaped pancake that is. Then we bring them back up centuries later and call them cool again. This is why I hate trends.

Trends are pressure to conform to a certain way of thinking, feeling, being, doing, and looking. Subscribe or die as they say. But man isn’t that just totally exhausting!

Growing up I remember wondering why my mom always wore the same genre of clothes… and she still does today. The tried and true button down shirt, stretchy top jeans, and Kmart sneakers… yes actually from Kmart. For dress up? A fancy button down shirt and stretchy top black or brown pants. If she was really feeling fancy she’d add a vest… yes I said vest. I always ragged on her for her clothes. Come on mom! This is so out of style. I’d try buying her more fashionable things only to end up returning them or watching them collect dust in her closet. She didn’t change because other people thought she should. She knows what makes her comfortable and she wears those same things every time. This might have been the best gift she could have given me.

I recently read an article where a woman who worked in a fast paced corporate office decided to self impose a uniform for her work place. She picked a white shirt and black pants with a tie thingy at the neck. She dealt with a lot of backlash from her co-workers, questions about her religious affiliations, and troubles “fitting in” with her peers. She simplified her life and found something that made her feel good. If you know me well, you know my closet could almost be described with one word. Black! I wear black all the time. I feel good in it and it goes with everything. I’ve often said if I could only find the perfect shirt I’d buy 50 of them! So what does that have to do with trends? Well… it doesn’t. That’s the point. Neither I nor the self imposed uniform lady want to conform to fashion trends. I’m perfectly happy in my black clothes world.

Take a minute and look up the word trending. The definition is to change or develop into a certain direction. Oh that’s a great plan… let’s just change who we are every time other people do. Why do we do that to ourselves? It’s like the scene in the Wizard of Oz where everyone changes colors at the same time. The question this provokes is why?

What are we so afraid of?

Why are we afraid to be different? What crazy thing do we tell ourselves will happen if we don’t conform to the current trend? Why do we attempt to be something or someone we are not? Why do we care if our life and interests are different than the mainstream? Why do we hide our freak flag?

Well because we can’t handle the idea of rejection. I follow the trends so that I’m not considered weird. Everyone is drinking green stuff in a Shakeology mug for breakfast so I should too. Cause that makes me like other people and if I’m like other people then I reduce the potential for rejection.

But have we considered what the world would look like if we all lived our weird and authentic truths? If instead of a monogrammed flag hanging from our garage we flew our freak flag? Don’t you think it would create a more open and accepting world? If people were safe to share with you their stories without fear that they would be rejected wouldn’t you have more friends? Couldn’t we identify with people more easily?

Trends aren’t going anywhere… because people will always like making money! But can’t we do something in our little corner of the world? Could we try to not follow along blindly?

Just let one more little part of yourself slip out. See how that feels. I bet it feels way safer than you thought it would. Decide that it doesn’t matter if you want to wear your bandana clip! Wear it with 80’s pride because you like the way your hair looks. Encourage those around to share their hidden non-trendy parts! Accept them when they tell you they like to play Pokemon cards as an adult. Accept them when they say I’m really a hippy under these mom jeans and scarf. Then… accept yourself. Don’t give into the pressure of being trendy. Just Be You! Freak Flag Flying You!

#sonottogether