It’s a battle. Every single morning! I’m pretty sure I’m not alone.

Are you a victim of closet drama?

Let’s just start by saying… that is SO NOT my closet. First of all I have a toddler so that much white is pretty much out of the question. Second of all, while I LOVE heels…. again, I have a toddler. Who puts their shoes perfectly lined up back and forth anyways… oh yeah.. people who take pictures of closets.

When we bought our house the thing that attracted me was the GIANT closet in the master bedroom. Seriously it’s apartment sized… I kid. But it’s a good size closet. The great part about a big closet is the room for lots of clothes. The bad part about a giant closet is SO MANY CLOTHES!

The thing is, getting dressed is more of an emotional decision than a practical decision. How do I feel today? Do I have the patience for this stuffy business suit? Do I look fat in these? Why does that shirt just feel too sexy, lazy, dumpy… add your own adjective. Getting dressed is like wrapping yourself in your personality. If you’re anything like me, your personality changes… daily. From moment to moment. What might feel great one day makes you feel like an elephant another day. What looks or feels bad on you on Monday might be the perfect outfit for Friday night. This is enough to make SO NOT TOGETHER people like me have daily CLOSET DRAMA!

Usually it starts like this….screaming toddler, awake, pee, get screaming toddler. Then something like this…. pick underwear (an important step), then stand in closet for 10 minutes staring at clothes. Who thought it was a good idea to dress yourself before coffee? While standing in the closet a litany of questions run through my mind.

What mood am I in?

Who do I have to impress today?

Did I have an important meeting?

If I wear this blazer is it going to be too hot to take it off in my shared office? Arm fat people.

What am I doing after work?

If I wear this outfit do I have shoes to match it?

Is that shirt too stuffy, clingy, busty?

And inevitably, I pick something. Put it on, take it off. Maybe just the top. Maybe the pants. Either way something comes off. Then we make a second attempt. I find a different shirt, grab a different pair of shoes, growl a little under my breath, and eventually come to a like-able solution. How good I look I don’t know because by then I’m sick of looking at myself and I’m running late.

For some reason, I NEVER feel like I live up to my getting dressed potential. I don’t look like a seamless Pinterest girl. I’m not about to Instagram my outfit… because it’s likely my outfit is not Instagram worthy. I never seem to have the time to find the perfect matching accessories and bag. As a matter of fact, I’m lucky to be fully dressed when I walk out the door. I mean there are days when I just think “Oh Sweat Pants, How I Miss Thee!”

Can you sympathize with my morning closet drama? Where does the pressure come from? Why does it take so long to dress ourselves? Why do we allow ourselves to feel so downtrodden by a shirt or a pair of pants? Seriously… they’re just pants! Our clothes don’t define us. Our HEART does!

I’m sure you’ve all seen them. The videos where they take a homeless guy clean him up, put him in a business suit and send him out to collect money. Or the man in the business suit has a crutch and needs assistance. It’s amazing that each time people are willing to help out the guy in the business suit but not the guy in tattered clothes. THAT is why we feel pressure. We respond to the reactions of others about our appearance. So every morning we get up and do the same head drama over and over again. We keep hoping that by looking nice we’ll be accepted, promoted, loved, sexy, smart, and whatever other reason you dress up for.

Now I’m not saying that you should defy the confines of your accepted work or life dress code. Please don’t trounce into work in your sweat pants when it’s not pajama day! But do we have to carry all of the emotional attachments to the way we look? Could we just look at ourselves in the mirror and say YOU’RE ALRIGHT KID! Can we accept that every outfit we own isn’t going to blow someone over. I mean we’re not walking some kind of daily catwalk are we? Where people are taking pictures and evaluating the workmanship of your outfitting skills.

Wouldn’t we look more beautiful if our hearts were brighter than our outfits? Popular media shoves women in high dollar garments and sky high heels in your face everyday. There’s a projected tone that all women should aspire to be or look like this. But let’s get real…. I am NEVER going to be a Kardashian. That’s a good thing! Because that means I care more about others than I do myself.

So next time you’re in the throws of closet drama, step back. Take a deep breath and remind yourself that you’re A OK! That a shirt or a pair of pants DOES NOT define you. YOU define YOU!

#sonottogether

What is your closet drama like? Can you sympathize with my morning struggle?