I have a giant confession to make!

But it’s cool! Because you’re going to not wear your judgy pants and just hear me out! Right? I mean I’ve already told you that I’m not the best housekeeper on the planet! Shew… glad you were sitting down for that one right? But I do maintain a house on a pretty regular basis. Minus this one thing.

I was 16 when I started dating my husband. He was (and is) the kindest young man in the world. He would come to my house after school to teach me Math… I couldn’t have passed high school without him. He would tuck me in at night before he left. I even remember one time when my parents weren’t home and I was hungry, he rode his bike 10 miles to the store purchased the things I told him I was hungry for and delivered them to my doorstep with a flower. He knew he couldn’t come in and we weren’t allowed to be alone together while my parents weren’t home. But he didn’t care… he did it anyways. He’s always been that kind of person. And then came the day where we were heading out on a date and my parents informed me that I could not leave until I completed the most dreaded and disgusting household task in the world! DISHES!

Eew. I hate doing the dishes. First of all they stink. Secondly, you’re basically sticking your hands in other people’s left over food. Thirdly, stuff floats in the water… gross stuff. Fourthly… eww Fifthly… eewwww! I could go on and on forever! I can not stand doing the dishes! And just like laundry, dishes never ever stay done. It’s not like you can check it off the to do list. Dishes sit on your counter and taunt you all day long. You go to bed and wake up to dishes. You do the dishes and look up from starting the dishwasher to dishes! It’s awful!

Now let’s add on another fun twist! I have 3 children! This creates interesting patterns in dish doing. My 13 year old will bring a cup of milk to his room. He drinks it all… well except for the gross little bit in the bottom. Then that gross bottom milk glass stays in his room for weeks… gets shoved under some stinky sock and I don’t discover it for another 3 weeks. Then there’s the middle kid. Because she wants her drinks RIGHT NOW she grabs a new cup for a quick drink of water. 50 TIMES A DAY! Now let’s talk about dishes and toddlers? Or do we really need to? You all know that’s a disaster!

Now listen, I do lots of other things! Clean toilets, change poop, catch throw up right in my hands, take out the garbage, wash stains out of clothes, and potty train… the worlds worst gross job. But I have to draw the line somewhere!!

So yeah I like clean dishes! Everyone does. but I abhor cleaning them! So much so that on that fateful day at the age of 16 my dear sweet boyfriend started washing the dishes. Wonder if he knew what he was starting? He’s still in charge of the dishes. I’ve been known to load the dishwasher every once in a blue moon but no one holds their breath.

Now when people ask we just tell them don’t worry dish washing was in the prenup. Ha! It’s in there with who gets the futon and the furniture from my high school bedroom. I kid!

So if you are ever invited to my house. Let’s just get this clear. I’ll cook for you. I’ll make the table look amazing! I’ll even whip up some gourmet appetizers! But when the dinner is over and I make my kid rinse the dishes and load the dishwasher don’t judge! I’m not touching those nasty things!

#sonottogether

So do you have a household chore you so will not do? Come on spill it!