It was 2002 and I had left college, married my best friend, and had a baby in short order. I was directionless.

I had always known what I wanted. I was going to be a famous Christian performing artist with extensive travels, recording contracts, and a long time career. Sandi Patti had nothing on me! Or at least that’s what my dream was. I went to bible college and thought that would sky rocket my ambitions. The thing is… there was this man. He wasn’t with me at school, as a matter of fact, he was 24 hours and several states away! He made my dreams of grandeur seem less and less important as time went on. A life with him, while I knew it was never going to be infamous, was becoming my dream. I was lucky to fulfill that dream. When I found myself jobless, back at home living with my parents, and pregnant while my husband finished school I was gifted a tiny magnet that would change my thought process forever.

It said “Sometimes on the way to a dream, you get lost and find a better one.” That mantra has stuck with me. Everywhere you look someone is telling you to FOLLOW YOUR DREAMS! And that is true. I mean don’t sit on your butt and eat bon-bons. That’s not good for you or your waistline. But what dream exactly? The dream to be a famous singer? The dream to be the most amazing mother in the world? The dream to be a successful employee?  The dream to have a beautiful home? You see DREAMS CHANGE!

As we grow and change we encounter new and different circumstances that cause us to look outside of our pre-conceived box of dreams. When I was in college, I was the stage manager for a play I didn’t particularly like or want to be involved in. I set and decorated a table with photos of the cast and other do-dads. I honestly don’t remember what it looked like but I do remember knowing it wasn’t my best work and given some funds and resources I could have done better. But halfway through the shows run, I was approached by the woman who ran the catering department at the school. I, of course, didn’t understand then the need for catering services in the corporate inner workings of a college. I was just a kid who loved musicals. This woman was impressed by my table setting and design skills and wanted me to work in the catering division designing buffets for her. I was confused and quickly said, “No! I’m a music major.” I wasn’t about to work in the cafeteria (yep, I was that snooty)! The funny thing about is, that is exactly what I do today as an event planner. I design tablescapes for buffets, tradeshows, weddings, and corporate events. And guess what? I’m super good at it! Given the opportunity and resources I can create some fabulous designs!

That woman saw something in me I didn’t. I was so busy thinking about a dream I had created to consider something else. ANYTHING else.

So no wonder we get discouraged! We’re constantly bombarded by the follow your dream, live your best life, get healthy, be amazing rhetoric that we so desperately want to do just that. But somehow we just stand there spinning our wheels. What dream are we supposed to follow? And if I devote all of myself to this dream and it changes- what then?

Isn’t it just ok to sometimes say “I’m Not Following My Dreams”?

Dream following carries consequences. For example, I am dying to re-join the theatre community. My soul aches to be on stage again. However, no director is going to say… sure bring your toddler with you to rehearsals. Nor is it fair to say to my child “Hope you had a great day at school!” as I wiz out the door for another rehearsal. I’m not condemning others for living this life. I’m just saying that right this minute… fulfilling one dream also makes me a failure at another… being a great mom and wife!

So when we go to work everyday and sit at a desk and feel like we’re not following our dreams, we should ask ourselves, what dream is that exactly? Am I providing an avenue to financial freedom for my family? Am I contributing to the cost of purchasing a home? Aren’t those dreams as well? Don’t they have some significance to the overall picture of life?

I’ll never be the next Sandi Patty. I may never find myself back on a stage in the future. I may never sing in a large public forum as I once did. But I’m still living out SOME of my dreams. Shouldn’t that be enough?

Dreams change because people change. And that’s ok. It doesn’t make us a failure. Or incapable of dreaming. It makes us human!

#sonottogether

What dream are you pursuing right now?