I’m Am So NOT Perfect! And that should not be a surprise!

If you haven’t already figured it out. I am completely and utterly and totally and consuming-ly AGAINST the idea that we should all be striving for perfection! I have talked about this a lot recently in previous blog posts about being fat, being messy, and not being able to dress myself. But just in case you’re just now logging in to the fun I’ll say it for you again… I’m So Not Perfect! And honestly, I don’t really want to be!

Here’s All The Reasons Why! Can you relate to any of these?

I’m Messy:

My house is messy! It’s like a giant laundry and toy filled toddler tornado came through and dumped everything everywhere. We try. We really do! We do our best to pick it up each night before bed. But… let’s just face it. Cleaning sucks! I suppose if I could keep my messiness to just a messy house it would be way easier to contain. All the rooms have doors and the doors have locks. But nope, I’m messy everywhere I go. You wouldn’t know it from my organized computer desktop or my pristine looking desk in the workplace. Or even from my put together appearance. Those things all stay pretty organized. But I promise somewhere in my purse is a squashed granola bar and an upside down non-spill (yeah right) sippy cup-spilling 3 day old milk onto everything in my purse. If you’re a person I let in to the inner circle you’d know I’m pretty much always a hot mess. A day late and a dollar short as they say. The kids should have had a bath yesterday. I missed a friends birthday or special occasion 2 days ago and my to do list is so full of tasks (I brought on myself) that I’m usually running around like a crazy person on crack. I’ll probably get it done.. eventually. Except the laundry.. cause that never gets done.

I Can Be Bold/ Brash/ Brazen:

Because I’m so comfortable with being authentic to myself, I often forget that other people aren’t so much! Like they aren’t AT ALL. Add to that my empath abilities and I always seem to say things I shouldn’t at just the wrong time. I also don’t always see the connection between what is spoken in one place with one group of people that supposedly isn’t supposed to be shared with another group of people. I don’t mean gossip. I mean like the time a co-worker joked about an awkward situation in our office full of people and then I shared this information with the same group of people who had joked about it before with the addition of one different person and it was a huge problem. I always seem to miss the hey this is a secret from some people kind of nuance. Probably because, I’m pretty much an open book and people can be a tad bit sensitive, but this always seems to get me in trouble. I’m not saying anything untrue or inappropriate it’s just always said at the wrong place and the wrong time. Open Mouth Insert Foot Disease! Victim 1.

I’m Impulsive:

I follow my gut. I make decisions very quickly and I’m convinced that they’re right. It’s partly what makes me great at executing events. I can make solid on the spot decisions that work. I recently took the Strengths Finder 2.0 test from Gallup (*affiliate link). My top strength was strategic. What that means is I’m the kind of person that can see the result of the decision right away. I make snap decisions based on the end result. And this is so very true in my life. In my friendships. In my parenting style. And pretty much all of my everyday life ‘stuff’. This makes me quick to make a call that may have a pretty long term effect. And for others that are more calculated I seem pretty rash. Do I make bad decisions? Every once in a while! But don’t calculated people make bad decisions too?

I Have a “Presence”:

As much as my introverted side would like to just slip into the back of the room, I have been told that for me that is literally impossible. I don’t do it on purpose and I didn’t even know I did it until people started making me aware. Apparently I’m a force??? (The thought kinda makes me do that nose snort laugh thing.) I don’t know exactly what that means but it’s not uncommon to hear that I make other women feel intimidated. By what I’m not totally sure!!! Good old hot mess fat Kellie… I’m not as good as her??? But it’s a word I hear a lot after women move from acquaintance to friend. I usually ask why and they always say… well you have a presence. Again….. wha’? OK so the problem is that I’m never really able to just sit back and absorb. Or not feel some kind of environmental pressure to be as exciting as my “presence” makes people think I am. I don’t get to slide to the back of the room and be the shy, quiet one. It also means I arbitrarily get put in charge of things. And downward goes the cycle of responsibility, full plate, failure, and burnout.

I’m Lazy:

Sometimes I just don’t want to. My husband and I will look at each other and say “I No Wanna!” Sometimes it’s change poop. Other times its’ get dressed and smell good. Other times it’s the more adult things like be responsible. I mean I’m not the laziest person ever. We keep up but sometimes I’ll go for a week of non-stopness and just totally drop off the map. I don’t want to talk. I don’t want to move! Don’t call me or I might kill you and you had better not expect me to respond to your texts. Just let me sit here and be lazy. And feed me coffee. Or chocolate. Or both! That works too.

I HATE Following the Rules:

Pretty much any preconceived notion of how something should be done annoys the crap-o-la out of me. One of my strengths is coming up with new, more efficient, and strategically positive ways for getting a job done. My last job was in a company that has used the same systems for efficiency since I don’t know… dinosaurs roamed the earth! Like they still do accounting on paper. Not kidding… in pencil on paper. The operating systems were pretty much non-existent and the office policies for filing were redundant and in-efficient. I followed them. I grit my teeth doing it. In order to not want to stab a pencil in my eye though, I created areas where others weren’t acting and did my own thing. Until one day my department manager says to me “You just never do things the way other people do!” She said it to discourage and shame me. But man was she right. I actually took it in a totally different way though. I felt a sense of pride. I want to set myself apart. I don’t want to do it the same way other people do it. Sorry that bothers you and in your eyes it makes me a failure. But I’ll wear that as a badge of honor.

So then what does it gain me to make a list of some of my top imperfections? What is the take away for you? Some people would say when we list out all of our imperfection we can create actionable steps for getting better. Then we can use those steps for improving ourselves. I say BULL! Let’s use our imperfections to be smart about what we don’t want! To know what situations we want to avoid. To allow ourselves the freedom to indulge in our imperfections even if just momentarily. Does it matter to anyone else if I’m lazy for just one day if I’m hustling every other? Does it make me a bad person because YOU felt intimidated by my presence? Does making an impulsive decision make me less trustworthy than a calculated one? Can’t our imperfections also be our perfections? Ooh… zinger.

Can’t we just be imperfectly perfect?

#sonottogether

What imperfection of yours makes you just perfect?