I have a confession to make.

If your real life friends with me you already know that on our way back from Disney World in February our family was in an accident that totaled our van. If you’ve been reading the blog thus far you’ll also know that the trip home from Disney was also wrought with a lot of emotion and hurt for me. The accident spun the van and landed us into a guard rail and then minutes later we just literally inches away from being side swiped by another mini-van doing exactly what we just did. It took me days to fall asleep without seeing the accident in my head over and again. I called work and explained what had happened. They gave me a day to get the van settled and where it needed to go. I was grateful for the understanding. Well until I walked in after being gone for 11 days.

I hadn’t even set down my purse or taken off my coat when I was ushered into an office and asked to stay there. That’s when one of the owners arrived, asked me to sit, and proceeded to tell me that I was being laid off. I asked for an explanation. I asked what I had done wrong. I asked if there was a problem with a client. None of my questions were returned with answers. The only answer I received was that they weren’t going to fight an unemployment claim. Prior to this point I had never received a single performance evaluation, I had not been called to any closed door meetings, there was never a word of dissatisfaction or any inkling that a separation was coming. As a matter of fact, our owner left for Florida leaving me to care for a very valuable client. Things seemed just fine and I was on a normal vacation.

I left the office stunned. I went to the office to gather my things. Only to find they had already been packed. How long had they been planning this? I attempted to talk the Supervisor of my department and was given no answers. I asked flat out what happened. She was curt at best. I grabbed my items and left. I didn’t sign anything. I wasn’t given anything pink. I wasn’t given a severance or even offered any kind of condolences. I’ll never know what I did or didn’t do that caused my lay off. That is something I’ll have to carry with me for the rest of my life.

When I was hired I was told that I had been selected to replace the existing supervisor in the Sales department. She would be retiring soon and that someone was needed to step into her place. I was told that I would be mostly managing our off-premise clients for all types of events. I was also informed that the company was looking for someone with the capability to onboard new software that would upgrade the current extremely antiquated systems. However, the reality of that position was very different. That Supervisor was nowhere near ready to retire. She was never informed that someone had been hired to fill her shoes. Ownership never stood up and said to her what had been said to me. I was stuck trying to follow the ridiculously inefficient systems of an office that were put in place while trying to exercise the freedom I had been requested to use by the owners. The answers from one corner were different from the other corner. No matter what I did I was never going to win.

So in less than three days I had been in a terrifying car accident, lost my best friend, and now my job. What an absolute trip to the bottom. I scrambled for a little while. Trying to pick up the pieces and get plugged into a new job quickly. I even interviewed for a position I was right for. Until I realized that the interviewer was directly connected to my former supervisor. I couldn’t control the phone conversations. I was just going to continue to get taken out everytime.

When I stopped scrambling, I fell. My husband graciously let me fall. He let me feel all the things I needed to feel in those moments. So much loss. He allowed me to be a failure even just momentarily.

The interesting thing about falling down is that you have crawl back up. Every rung of the ladder felt like work. I didn’t know what I wanted to be when I grew up. I’ve always been defined by what I do. I’ve always carried my career with me as a badge of honor. Who was I outside of this? What did I really want to do with myself?

With each new step forward I learned something important about myself.

I Learned My Body Again

I knew when I was getting sick. I knew when I was tired. I didn’t push myself to the absolute extremes. I wasn’t eating as much or using as many headache meds. I was sleeping if I needed to. I finally figured out how to take care of me. Guess what happened? I started losing weight again. I’d been stuck if not gained since I started working there.

We Found Money In Places We Didn’t Expect

Of course your first thought is to panic about money. It was amazing what happened when we started being more mindful about the money we were spending. I was no longer running through the grocery store at 6:30 trying to grab what we needed as fast as possible. I was spending less in gas and daily expenses. It’s amazing to us how provided for we feel.

I Started Singing Again

When you work in the event industry you’re fully aware that there is no such thing as a M-F 9-5 job. It just really doesn’t exist. Events are most Saturday nights and you’re likely to be meeting with clients after their work hours. There was no time for anything other than work and kids. But all of the sudden I’ve stepped out and done the impossible. I auditioned and was cast as a lead in a musical.

I Started This Blog

For months prior to being laid off, I’d been playing around with the idea of blogging. I was looking for a way to be able to make passive income and have the opportunity to stay home. Being laid off made me feel very useless. But with blogging, I had something to devote my time and energy to. And it was working. In my first month of blogging I was published on Huffington Post and invited to be a regular contributor. This confirmation gave me the strength to see my own good again. Now I’m blogging like a crazy person and people are loving it. In less than 2 months I’ve been featured on 2 other blogs, published 3 articles on Huffington Post, and am developing products scheduled to launch by the end of the month. I’m finally catching something I always thought would just be a dream.

I Found My Career Passion

For years I’ve worked with wedding and event professionals as a fellow vendor. I’ve built amazing relationships with them as friends and co-workers. As a result I’ve encouraged and assisted them to set up their online profiles, how to streamline their brand, how to set up a killer bridal show booth. All of these things I love. There is nothing more gratifying than helping other businesses grow. Through blogging I realized that the global online market allowed for remote workers to basically work from anywhere [I’m typing in the play area of Chick-Fil-A today]. This allowed me the opportunity to use my skills in a way that works best for me and helps me support these local businesses to be their most amazing selves. So I’ve launched a virtual assisting business for wedding and event professionals, bloggers, and creatives. I’ll be working on administrative tasks for those people I know and love best. It’s a risk. But it’s a rewarding risk I’m willing to take. Curious? Check out our brand spanking new site iDo Collective.

So yes, I got pushed out of the plane. And like anyone… I fell for several thousand feet. I could have fallen all the way down and shattered into a thousand pieces. But instead…

I CHOOSE TO FLY!

I’m finally me. I’m finally happy. I’m finally allowing myself the space to launch a business that will make me feel successful. It’s my own little corner of freedom.

So for that…

Thank you for laying me off that day.

Thank you for teaching me how to be myself again.

Thank you for forcing me to admit that I was unhappy and that I needed to change my life.

Thank you for giving me the opportunity to sing again.

Thank you for relieving me from a place and people that made me feel bad about myself.

I CAN’T THANK YOU ENOUGH.

So I got Laid Off…. Best Day Ever!

#sonottogether

What was the experience in your life that made you learn how to fly? It might not have been job loss. But everyone goes through something that forces them to fall or fly. What was yours?