I was the middle child too. I guess I remember some of the struggles.

This is Sissy! She’s my middle baby. Quite by accident but none the less there she is. She’s very bright, considerate of others, and super artistic. She also has so many of the symptoms of Middle Child Syndrome. But it’s ok. I suppose I had them too. Here’s 5 things I’ve learned about raising a middle child.

5. She Never Gets Enough Attention… Especially If You Ask Her:

We’re in the car driving to dinner. Ironically she’s in the middle seat. She starts pushing on her brother and then on the car seat yelling there’s not enough room. I’m squished in here. Then the melt down begins. Then it peaks…. “THERE’S NEVER ENOUGH ROOM FOR ME!” Now in the moment she was talking about the middle seat of the car. But we all know why she talks louder, bangs harder, cries longer, and needs more. For the middle kid it seems like everyday is about someone else. The big kid is doing something new. The little kids is well little. She’s just stuck in between.

4. She’s All My Bad Parts…And Daddy’s Good One’s:

She’s a handful. She’s moody, needy, sensitive, she can’t dress herself, she’s pushy, she’s whiny and sometimes an all out mess. She’s like me without coffee and a shower. She got all of the bad parts of me! Genetics could have made a better choice huh?! But all of the great things about her… she got from her Daddy. She’s sensitive to others needs. She’s extremely artistic and innovative. She seems to have an intuition into how others are feeling. She’s great at picking up around the house too… when she feels like it.

3. She is Afraid of Everything… And I Mean Everything!:

Bugs, Dirt, Fuzz, Balls, Water, Nail Clippers, Hairbrushes, EVERYTHING! It’s not just a little afraid. Defcon 2 style afraid! She completely melts down. I can’t brush her hair because there might be a tangle that will hurt and then she’ll die. Bugs send her into orbit- even dead ones. Balls flying at her face or falling down on her bike might as well be the opening credits to a horror flick. She freaks. Super freak! We try to rationalize with her. But it doesn’t work. I just can’t wait for the day she can do some of this for herself. Maybe then everything won’t be so epic!

2: She’s Not Big or Small:

She doesn’t know where she fits. She can’t get away with the stuff the baby does. Because she is NOT a baby! She isn’t old enough to do the things her big brother does. She isn’t confident enough to try for things that her brother does… even if she is big enough. She doesn’t want to play with the baby and big brother doesn’t want to play with her. Big Brother wants to talk about big kids stuff she doesn’t understand or “school” her. She thinks he’s stupid or obnoxious. When she has friends her age over the baby wants to be right in the middle of the action. There she is stuck again!

1. She Just Wants to Be Visible:

One of our favorite things is morning cuddle time in Mommy and Daddy’s bed. I usually yell “Mommy’s Family!” and everyone comes running. We take this time to chat with each other and cuddle and tickle toes and talk about our thoughts and feelings. It’s not Sissys thing. She is the first to be done cuddling. This means it’s much harder to connect with her on a daily basis. I have to intentionally go out of the way to show her that I see her and I hear her. This means actually listening to the yadda yadda’s at the end of the day when you’re just trying to cook dinner. Or paying attention to the balance between helping her and making her do it herself. Raising her is a lot of work, she requires so much more attention to detail than the other kids. Some days I’m better at this than others.

The thing middle kids don’t get is that being in the middle sorta rocks. They’re no one’s guinea pig. Second kids get the better set of parents. We’ve seen this before most of the time so we know how to help you. We’re better at seeing your passions and leading you to enjoying them. We know how to figure you out. We recognize your talents more easily and we see how different you are from your siblings. You get a better parent! We’ve screwed up way less on you than we did with your brother! That means the therapist of your future might hear less mommy dearest stories. And you’ll never be subjected to the “trials” of the last kid left at home with an almost empty nest mom.

Maybe that does means your big brother made more rules for you-but hey you wouldn’t know the difference!

#sonottogether

What have you learned about raising the middle kid? Share your thoughts in the comments below or on our facebook page.