Lifestyle

10 Things I Need To Let Go!

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Let it Go

We all carry a giant bag full of worries around with us. Often times those worries really weigh us down! They keep us from performing at our best in life and from being the best we can be. I’ve been thinking what if I just Let it Go! [cue overplayed song]

Let it Go

 

Why do I let these things have power in my life? I need to just stop it. Get a grip on myself and let these 10 things go!

That One Time At Kids Camp: 

Long story short… this clutsy girl spilled spaghetti and meatballs all over my super spiffy outfit. I was so mad. So mad that when I saw her 10 years later all I could remember about her was that she spilled spaghetti on me and I didn’t like her. Why do we hold onto old grudges? Especially for stupid things! I know I’m guilty! Gravely guilty. I need to let things like this go. Especially when they have absolutely no bearing on my everyday life. Imagine the freedom found when you don’t carry the things that made you mad years ago.

The Look of Perfection: 

Somehow my head has this picture of what I SHOULD look like all the time. An expectation of what a person who IS together should look like. I created this imaginary person and she is plus size Pinterest perfect. Her hair is right. Her clothes are right. She says the right things. She does the right things… and everyone likes her. Yeah… that doesn’t happen. I’ve created an unhealthy, unattainable me that I will exhaust myself trying to attain. So get on with you perfection… you’ve got the boot.

Other People’s Opinion of Me:

I am controlled by what other people think of me. So much so that sometimes I don’t do what I think I should be doing because I’m afraid of what they will say behind my back or think of me. It has this hold on me. And often I weigh this before I make a decision to move forward. The problem is, it has too much weight and keeps me stuck. What if I flew my freak flag? What then? Wouldn’t I just attract the people I really should be friends with?

Unanswered Questions:

When I wrote the post about The One That Got Away I was filled with so many questions. This particular area of my life isn’t the only one where I would like to know what really happened. Or why someone responded in the way they did. I’m a truth seeker and I practically have a PHD in overthinking. I recently spoke with a friend who said it like this.

“Sometimes in life we desperately want people to respond to us in a way we need or expect to validate our feelings and emotions. Sometimes they do sometimes they don’t. I know because I’ve tried. I’ve thought “if only I could make them understand how I feel and why I feel this-THEN they would respond the way I want. But it never works. We never get the response we want. People never respond to us the way we think or want them to or the way we would in that situation. And trying to get them to just results in more hurt and heartache. I understand wanting to have closure and resolution, but sometimes the closure and resolution we think we need just isn’t possible.”
So that’s when I need to just let it go. Concentrating on unanswered questions doesn’t answer them. It just keeps me from moving forward.
Fear:
Every time I step forward into something new there’s this one moment where I am overwhelmed with fear. I second guess myself. My choices. Even if deep down I’m totally convinced of my next step. Fear also keeps me from stepping up and saying what should be said. Or defending myself. Or making new friends. Or being authentic. I get it. Being devoid of fear also makes you very vulnerable. But I’m learning that by releasing fear I’m also creating a path for new things I never would have imagined before.
let it go
Winning People Over:
This likely ties into other people’s opinion of me. BUT… somehow I feel the need in my life to win people over. If you don’t like me, there must be a way to fix that. If you just knew me better or if you hear my perspective then you would change your mind. I’ve always had the power of persuasion. But I’m finding as I get older that I care less and less about winning people over. If I haven’t done anything to hurt you or to negatively impact you personally but you’ve made up your mind to dislike me then… hey more power to you! And as much as I want to change that in people.. .it’s just not going to happen. People will always have an assumption and an opinion and I need to let go of the idea that I’m going to be able to convince them otherwise.
 What Success Looks Like:
We all have a picture of what success looks like. It might be a fancy car, a full checking account, a clean house, a steady job. All of those things LOOK like success, right? Well what if I let go of that picture of success to realize that a messy house with a happy family inside also looks like success? Or how about a happy marriage without the roses and chocolates? Or the freedom to work from my couch in my sweatpants but no notoriety among my peers? Only I decide what success looks like. Wouldn’t I be so much happier if I could accept that success comes in many forms aside from my pre-conceived picture?
 Fake It Til You Make It:
Sometimes we get so caught up in looking like an expert at something that we’re actually hurting ourselves in the long run. This fake it til you make it mentality keeps us from looking stupid -maybe- but it also makes us a much bigger failure! What if I wasn’t afraid to ask questions or admit I don’t know something. What if I reached out for help instead of trying to do something over and over and getting it wrong. What if when you start feeling that “fish out of water” feeling that you reach out and say… I’m struggling. Yes it’s incredibly vulnerable and scary and makes you seem weaker but can’t it also make you stronger in the end? Faking it just continues the cycle of failure and covering up failure. And that is exhausting.
 Expectations of Self:
I once read an article written by an alcoholic. And while I’ve never dealt with any dependency issues in my life, I could really relate to one point she made. She said she never intended to be an alcoholic. In her head every night she’d tell herself tomorrow she was going to wake up at 6am, run 5 miles, get the laundry done and go to the store. And lose 5 pounds. In her head she was a superstar. But then real life crept in and as she failed she fell further into dependency. It makes me wonder… what if I released those expectations of myself. I don’t mean ALL expectations- but the harmful ones. What if I stopped thinking I was going to get the entire month of blogging written, edited, and scheduled in 5 hours. Or if I stopped expecting that my kids were going to look perfect, have clean rooms, and I was going to get makeup on that day. What if I just went with the flow of the day and accepted what I was and was not able to get done from my list. Wouldn’t there be so much freedom in that!? Freedom of the heart that I would then have to give to something else?
Pinterest Graphics (6)
 
Disappointment in Others:
Man- expectations of others always bites me in the butt. I would have never done that to them! So I cannot understand why you did that to me. It causes major upset, hurt and dissatisfaction in relationships between people! It also causes resentment and makes it incredibly difficult to forgive. I get that. I’m living it. But while it seems very, very hard it could also be incredibly powerful to have the capacity to accept something for what it is. Accept that it happened, or that it was said, or that you have been wronged. Even if there is no reconciliation or acknowledgement. Sometimes it’s not about how other people respond. It about how I respond to them and what has happened. That is the truth of my character.
Can you imagine life without these things weighing me down? How about you? What do you need to just let go? I know it’s a choice I make. I decide what’s going to bother me. I choose what I’m going to fill my mind with. I choose what has power of me and what I’m not going to allow to control me any longer. I give things and people weight in my life. I step into something slowly or more quickly. I love too hard or need to much. It’s part of my makeup. I need to let go of the things in my life that keeping me from moving into the self that I want to become. To step into the freedom of not carrying these weights.
Let’s do it together. Let’s let these things go. Let’s see what steps are next for us when we do. I bet we’ll be surprised.
#sonottogether
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22 Comments

  1. Great post – I think this is going to help a lot of people. It’s just hard to be free in yourself, free in your truths and let go of things that hold you down.

  2. Great post. I can relate to a lot of this. especially the disappointment in others. People will let you down, you just have to know 9/10 it is more about them as a person and no reflection on you.

  4. Love the point about letting go of what success looks like. I love that you define success as synonymous with happiness – many people do not. I think actually defining our own version of success helps us to know what we’re shooting for so that we know when we get there & are able to be grateful & well, happy 🙂

  8. Yes! Those are all true and all very hard to let go of. Thanks for being vulnerable and sharing with us. Really love it 🙂

  10. Love this!!! Every point is spot on!!! Love the quote “Take a deep breath, then let it go”!!! Something I have to remind myself about every day.

  11. This was well written, I really needed to hear this. I feel like perfectionist and not letting go of things makes life hard. It’s something I know I should stop, but it isn’t so easy. Thanks for the insightful post.

  14. Letting go of expectations…that’s a tough one. We all have this vision of what we WANT our lives to look like and what we’re striving for, and yet…reality so rarely lives up to that. I also worry that if I let expectations go, I’ll let everything go and everything will fall to bits…

  16. I loved this post and can very much relate to a lot of what you said. Letting go can be really hard but so freeing when we do!

  17. I love this! I definitely struggle with a lot of these things and it’s important to remind ourselves that we shouldn’t sweat it and just let it go.

  19. This was such a fantastic post and so relatable. I’m definitely guilty of having this image of what I should be/ what my life should look like. The expectation vs. reality is something a lot of people struggle with.

    Thanks for sharing!

  21. This is such a great list of things one needs to let go. I’m guilty of those ‘One time when…’ type of thoughts. I don’t think about it all the time, but something triggers it. It is like the saying, ‘Sticks and stones may break my bones,but words will never hurt me.’ So not true. Words hurt and I still remember all the horrible things that were said to me over 20 years ago 🙁

  22. You aren’t the only one who needs to get let go of the things listed. It is often so hard to part with our expectations of how things should be and not focus on what is.