Just kill me now!
We are smack dab in the middle of the parental nightmare that is potty training. You’d think we’d know what we’re doing. We’ve done this before. TWICE! Yeah… kids are butt heads. It’s said in love I promise. They just have to come up with a way to make life difficult. If the other kid did it this way then I am SO NOT doing that! I was in the bathroom for the 13th time in 25 minutes the other day. I had finally slumped myself over on the floor. I resisted the urge to rock back and forth and cry for my Mommy. I’ve tried everything! That’s when it dawned on me… we parents will say pretty ridiculous things to see some poop in the potty…
You Have Until Sept 24th to Get This Under Control-
Yeah… cause my kid really cares about the preschools time schedule and potty requirements. They don’t even realize that you’ve been sitting next to the toilet for the last 6 hours! Sept 24th means absolutely nothing to them!
Do you feel your pee-pee feeling?
Umm… what’s a pee-pee feeling? Is this like a happy/sad kind of feeling. I don’t know.. do I?
It’s OK… Just Push It Out!
Push what out? What is going to come out of my body and why are you making that ridiculous face at me? Why do we think that example grunting is a good idea. It’s never worked… not even once.
Don’t Pee on Dora/Mickey Mouse/Whatever Character:
It’s the first day in Pull Ups. They have some cute character on them… and then you say it. Don’t pee on your favorite character. Oh… that’s good. Let’s open up the idea that you CAN pee on someone. Great thinking mom! Let’s just reduce that as an option. Considering… I’m probably the one who’s going to get peed on.
You Need To Sit Here Until You Let Your Pee Pee Out:
That’s always a great plan. Let’s sit here for another 15 hours. Because we have nothing better to do today.
I Potty Trained My Kid in 3 Days:
Good for you… now come over here so I can throat punch you. That’s great! I’ll have my kid over to you later today. I can go 3 days without them.
Do You Want to Wear Diapers to Kindergarten?
Of course I do! Is that a problem?! Like your 2 year old even knows what Kindergarten is!
Big Girls/Boys Use The Potty:
Wait, so all the times you said what a big girl I am now (because I can clap my hands, or find my shoes…) you’re taking it back? Guilt much?
Look at Timmy! He Goes On The Potty:
This is a winner… Let’s start comparing milestones and abilities at the age of 2. It’s a good plan! Let’s teach our kids to compare themselves to others to feel good. We rock as parents!
Ok… I’ve said ALL of these things. Every single one of them! I’m guilty as charged! What am I thinking? What am I supposed to say! I have no idea!
Right now I’m at the begging and pleading stage. Please go to the potty. Please don’t make me find your underwear sag and poop on the carpet. PLEASE… for my sanity and your protection. I promise the potty won’t bite you. Please please please…..
#mommyneedsmorecoffee
#sonottogether
9 Comments
Hello! I just came across your blog today thanks to one of the Facebook groups. I love it! I especially adore this post. I am in the midst of potty training my youngest now and I had to laugh when you talked about omitting the instruction to “not pee on Mickey…” I don’t believe I have ever thought about it that way but also haven’t ever used that phrase. I have, however, heard many a parent say such a thing. Anyway, great post! Thanks so much for the laugh! I’m now following along via your social media to see what you’ll post next.
Hi Lindsay!
Thank you so much!! I’ve decided I am a miserable potty trainer! My third child is withholding… which we’ve never experienced before! I’m exhausted and ready to throw the toilet seat in the trash can! Thanks for laughing with me!!
I’ve only been following you for about a month, but I am in love! Girl, your posts are SO real! Thank you for keeping me amused each and every day. I really do appreciate it!!
Ha! Thanks Heather! I’m glad that the realness comes through! It’s all I got! 😉 Thanks for stopping by! <3
Hilarious Kel! The funny thing- I’ve said some similarly ridiculous things to the dog I adopted as he struggles with anxiety in his new environment and has TOTALLY forgotten what it means to be housebroken when I’m not here.
You actually made me laugh out loud! I have been here and you’re amazing for saying these things out loud. Sometimes I think I may be the only one running a circus because everything looks so proper in pictures on the internet. Thank you for the reality check! ❤︎
Ha! Juliet! Then you are in the right place! That is exactly what we’re all about. Those internet pictures… LIE! Glad to make you laugh. We love laughing!
This is fantastic! I’m smack dab in the middle of trying to potty train my daughter, and oh my, sometimes I am so tired of cleaning up pee off the floor lol. I should buy stock in Lysol. 😊
This was hilarious and spot on.
As a completely burned-out homeschooling mom, I really needed to find your blog today. It is so refreshing to hear that others are also experiencing the realities of life we don’t usually talk about.
I remember when my kids were potty training. When I went to the bathroom, they would get all excited and encouraging. Sometimes they actually applauded!
They’re teenagers now.
Wow. The height from which I’ve fallen in their eyes. 🙂
One of my children has autism and other special needs as well. It’s not just that “If I don’t laught about life, I’ll cry about it.” type of thing. Actually it’s more of a “If I don’t laught about life, this is gonna be incredibly boring and frustrating life” type of thing.
I’d love to hear what you think about my blog, 4fuzzybears.